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11 Ways To Guarantee A Bad Break Up |
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Sunday, 30 March 2008 |
 Breaking up can often be a very hard thing to do. Not only do you have to deal with the emotions you feel about your ex and the breakup, you also have to start thinking about dating someone new. You are closing the door on one chapter of your life and moving on to another part. Sometimes it can be really difficult to come to terms with everything that happened in your last relationship. Also, if someone broke up with you, you are likely dealing with repairing your damaged ego. This can make a breakup more than difficult to handle. Unfortunately, as you work on moving down the road toward accepting the end of the relationship, there are certain things that you can do that will make the breakup far more difficult than it needs to be. This list shows you 11 things that can turn what might have been a friendly breakup into a war. If you see things on this list that you are doing, it's time for you to make a change in your behavior. It's time to let the relationship go and move on.
- Dating Tip 1 - Continually Calling The Person You Just Broke Up With
If they wanted to talk to you, they wouldn't have broken up with you. Stop being insane. Don't call them unless there is something that you have to say which directly concerns them and is a pressing issue that has to be handled. For instance, if they have things at your place and you want to know what to do with those things you should call once. If they don't respond, you can send them a certified letter. If they don't respond to that, then throw the stuff away. Don't keep calling. It makes you look desperate and it just reinforces why they broke up with you in their minds. Often people are on the fence right after they break up with someone. They are wondering if they did the right thing. Crazy behavior from you helps them realize that they did do the right thing.
- Dating Tip 2 - Continually Texting/Emailing The Person You Just Broke Up with
The Internet and text messaging have opened up countless opportunities for us to continually stay connected to those we love or like. However, when someone breaks up with us it's often hard to resist sending them little messages in the hopes that they will respond and help give us closure. Don't do it! It's not worth it for a few reasons. First, stalking and harassing people can lead to criminal prosecution. It is a crime. Texting and emailing provides a paper trail right back to you. Remember that text messages are stored. If the person you are texting decides to have you prosecuted for harassment, text messages can be tracked right back to you. Emails have a point of origin and an endpoint. That origin can often be tracked right back to you too. Don't go down this road. The second thing you need to remember is that the person just doesn't want to hear from you. They are done with wanting to hear what you have to say. If you have a good friend, tell them that you are going to text and email them every time you feel like emailing or texting the person you were dating. This will allow you to unload without being prosecuted. Just make sure that you pick a friend that you can trust to send the messages to.
- Dating Tip 3 - Contacting & Involving Your Ex's Family
For some reason there are a lot of people out there who think that telling the family of someone they were dating about the breakup will cause that person to come back. This often has the absolute opposite effect. It doesn't matter what his or her family says to you, they are still the family of your ex. You look like an absolute fool when you do this. Often the family members you contact will talk to you to calm you down and then talk about you afterward. They are not on your side and they are not your friends. If you need to talk to someone in a family, talk to your own. Leave your ex alone and leave their family alone. Not only does this make you look crazy, it also leaves a lot of witnesses around should your ex decide to go to authorities and say that you are stalking them and harassing them. If you need to call someone, call your own friends and family. That's your best bet.
- Dating Tip 4 - Constantly Contacting Your Ex To Get Back Every Gift You've Purchased For Them
Grow up! If you gave a gift to someone, it belongs to them. There is nothing you can do. Don't be immature and childish. Move on with your life.
- Dating Tip 5 - Telling People At Your Ex's Job About What Happened In Your Relationship
Trying to spread bad blood at your ex's job is very immature. This is harassment. Often when we hurt we want to make others hurt. You have to get past this. Personal issues should not be bought into the workplace. You have to be mature to understand this. If you work with your ex and people ask you what happened, tell them that this isn't really the place to discuss it. Leave it at that. Don't show immaturity by telling people at the person's job what happened just because you are hurt. Deal with your hurt in another way.
- Dating Tip 6 - Refusing To Pay For Final Expenses For Bills You Made With Or For Your Ex
Just because your relationship ended doesn't mean that you don't have to pay for some things you were supposed to pay for. If you were living together and there are bills that you were supposed to pay for, just pay them! Take care all of that business and move on. If you left an apartment you shared and there are payments outstanding, then make arrangements to pay off that debt. Don't be a jerk and leave your ex with bills that you agreed to pay or were paying. You may find yourself in small claims court if you don't pay.
- Dating Tip 7 - Flaunting Your New Love Interest Around Your Ex If You Just Broke Up
Doing this shows that there is a level of sensitivity missing inside of you. If you just broke up with someone, think about their feelings at least a little. Don't try to rub the fact that you have moved on in their face. It is unnecessary and childish. If you have moved on, then go and leave your ex in peace.
- Dating Tip 8 - Not Telling Your Ex You Are Breaking Up With Them And Just Leaving Them Instead
This is a very cowardly move unless your ex is violent. If they are, then moving on without communicating is probably the best thing. If they aren't violent, then you need to own up to the fact that you are leaving and say why you are leaving. Be honest and communicate your intent to end the relationship. If you were woman or man enough to get into the relationship, then be woman or man enough to communicate your desire to end it.
- Dating Tip 9 - Draining Joint Bank Accounts You Had With Your Ex
This is a great way to start problems with your ex. You are going to end up in court and you are going to have to return the money that your ex can clearly show is their money. Don't be immature. Leave your ex with the money that belongs to them and take only your money. You should sit down with your ex and come to an agreement before you take anything. If your ex won't talk to you, then take what you know to be yours and move on.
- Dating Tip 10 - Following Your Ex
This is something stalkers do. If you are doing this, then you can officially classify yourself as a stalker. It is illegal and it's just plain wrong. Do you mean to tell me that you don't have anything else better to do than to follow your ex around? Come on! You are better than that. If you feel the need to follow your ex, just know that you are asking for trouble. You may be feeling like you are losing control and out of control. Talk to someone and get your frustrations off your chest. If you don't talk to someone about your issues, you may end up in jail. Face your problems, talk to someone and leave your ex alone.
- Dating Tip 11 - Trying To Stop Your Ex's New Love Interest From Hanging Around Places You Both Go
Your issue is not with your ex's new love interest. It is with your ex. The person your ex is now dating has nothing to do with you directly. They are in your ex's life because your ex wants them there. Since this is true, you have no reason to try to prevent that person from being around. This means that you should leave them alone if you see them at a party, or at the gym or at a restaurant that you used to go to with your ex. Your relationship, as painful to face as it may be, is history. Move on and let it go. Your ex's new love interest doesn't deserve one second of anger from you. Your ex is the one that moved on. Let it go.
When it's over, it's over. Pack up your mind and move on. You can't move forward if you are hung up on the past. Trying to hold on to the past may result in you visiting a jail cell, being hated by the person you were dating and still not getting back with the person that broke up with you. Most importantly, it leaves you feeling empty and miserable inside. When it's time to end things, be mature enough to say goodbye without going crazy. In the long run you will be happy that you have moved on. Let go and look forward!
Written By Kila Morton
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