When faced with confirmation that we are dating someone that is cheating, some people are on the fence about if they should or should not leave relationship. There may be children involved or financial issues that make the idea of leaving your relationship a thought that needs to be well thought out. The problem is that staying with a cheater is like standing on a sinking boat. You may decide that you should leave, but, you may be questioning your decision. If you are questioning if you should leave someone who has cheated on you, there are some very important things you should think about while you are coming to terms with what you need to do. It may seem like a hard choice, but, it really isn't. You either want to be with someone that is going to cheat on you or you don't. If you are considering staying with someone that is not 100% faithful to you, make sure you are willing to deal with all of the things that could possibly come with that. Here are some of the reasons to pack your things and run away from the person that cheated on you ASAP.

• Dating Tip 1 - Diseases For some reason, a lot of people forget that there are diseases around that can't be cured. They cheat without wearing condoms and then go home and sleep with the 'main' person they are dating. Herpes, genital warts, AIDS - not to even mention all of the diseases you can get that are curable, but not something that you want to get. Who wants to walk around playing itchy and scratchy in their underwear? Who wants to walk around while their private parts are leaking like a faucet? Dealing with someone that is a cheater means exposing yourself to all kinds of diseases and disorders. Think about your personal safety and make sure that you are willing to accept the possibility that you may end up with an incurable disease all because you wanted to hold on to someone that wants to cheat.


• Dating Tip 2 - Exposing You To Potentially Crazy People People never think that people are going to snap and go off and do something stupid and crazy like shoot people they are angry with. Yet, this is something that happens everyday. Don't be arrogant enough to think that the person your mate cheated with will just go away. Everyday people make the mistake of thinking that once the cheating has been uncovered, they are going to go on to be with the person who cheated. The sad reality is that plenty of people have died by thinking this way. Sometimes it's the jilted lover that decides to kill their 'rival' and sometimes it's the cheater that decides that they want to be with the person they cheated with without dealing with the principal person they were involved with or they want to get rid of the person they cheated with so they can go on with the principal person they were involved with. If you don't believe it, just spend an evening watching Forensic Files or reading the Forensic File stories. Crazy people happen and keeping yourself involved in the situation can be potentially dangerous. It's best to move on and start fresh elsewhere.


• Dating Tip 3 - Exposing Your Children To A Dysfunctional Relationship People have a strange way of looking at things when they find out someone they are with is a cheater. This is especially true if the person has children and is married to or living with the person who cheated. People like that tell themselves that they are going to stick it out for the kids and hang in there to preserve the family. However, what example are you showing your children? What are you teaching them? What you are showing them is how to accept anything a person does to them. You may tell yourself that you are teaching them forgiveness, but, what you are showing them is complacency. You may think you are teaching them how to love, but what you are showing them is dysfunction. If you stay in a situation just because you have kids and show your kids a relationship without verbal, physical and emotional affection your kids are going to grow up thinking that what they see is the way things should be. They are going to think that abuse (I hope you do realize that cheating is abuse!) is normal. Is that really the message you want to send - just smile, hold the pain inside and stay in a relationship with a cheater?


• Dating Tip 4 -The Message You Are Sending The Cheater A lot of people think that they are doing something when they tell the cheater that they will leave if the cheater cheats again. They think that the cheaters seemingly heartfelt and sincere apologies make some sort of difference. The truth is that it doesn't. We all teach people how to deal with us. We teach them how to respond to us. When you get upset and then take the cheater back or stay with the cheater, you are showing them that you are willing to accept the crap that they offer. You may think that you taught them a lesson and you have them under control again and they are never going to do anything like that again. However, you sent the cheater a message. The message was if you cheat on me, act real sorry, apologize over and over and get rid of the person you cheated with, I will forgive you. Cheaters are like criminals - they get better at covering their tracks with each affair they commit. You are going to have a harder time figuring it out and they are going to keep doing it. After all, if you do find out, what are you going to do - get mad, accept an apology and allow the cheater to do it all over again? Is that really the message you want to send? 


• Dating Tip 5 - The Inability To Ever Truly Trust The Person You Are With Again The truth of the matter is that your mate's cheating went on and you didn't know it before. There is absolutely no reason to think that it won't happen again. You may think that you know everything you need to know, but, there is the distinct possibility that you don't. Many men and women think that they KNOW the reasons for their mates cheating and they KNOW what will stop it and they KNOW that their mate doesn't care about the person they were cheating with. This is an example of KNOWING too much for your own good. People that cheat are masters of deception. They aren't necessarily a master at covering up deception, but they are masters at fooling themselves about what they are doing and the usually deep seated reasons why they are doing it. You aren't able to control or stop what they are doing. Only they can control their cheating and most of the time they aren't willing to stop it - even if they proclaim their sorrow at hurting you and profess that they won't do it again. The sad truth is that just because they haven't left you and instead chose to cheat doesn't mean that they don't care about the person they were cheating with. It means that they may realize that they can have what they want without giving up what they need. What does this mean?

People that cheat typically like relationship security even though their actions are security deal-breakers. Instead of losing that security, they will lie to keep themselves secure and go after what they want - even though they may feel that what they want may not be completely safe or secure. Often they don't stay with you because they are so in love with you that they can't leave, they instead stay because their relationship with you is what they know. They know the limits that they can push the relationship to and still feel safe. Is that what you really want? Someone that stays with you because they feel that they can do what they want, apologize and get away with it? I don't even know you, but, I can tell you that you want something more. Stop being a floor mat and go get that something more.

Written By Kila Morton

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