• The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #1

  You know the person you are seeing is cheating, yet you say nothing to them about it.

  There are so many men and women that stay with people that they know for sure are cheating on them! It is crazy. There are a number of reasons that people stay with people when they know 100% that the person is cheating on them. Here are a few reasons that people stay with people when they know that the person is cheating.

  • Fear of losing the person you love
  • Not wanting the person they are cheating with to "win"
  • Believing you can change the person
  • Feeling like you've invested too much into the relationship
  • Thinking the the person you are with will decide that what they are doing is wrong and they will then just stop cheating.
  • Feeling like you have done something to cause them to cheat

  The problem is that your passive stance on cheating is enabling the person to continue without changing anything. If you are a cheater and you feel that the person you are with knows that you are cheating, yet they do nothing, why would you stop? What reason for change would you have? The answer is that they don't have a reason. By saying nothing, you are accepting and enabling their behavior with you. Let me tell you something. Nothing is going to get better until and unless you tackle this problem head on. Passive behaviour won't help your relationship. Do something about the problem you are facing before it's too late.

• The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #2
  The person you are dating makes comments in front of you, to you or around other people while you are around about wanting to cheat or cheating and you say nothing in response. Often, cheaters test the waters to see how far they can push things. When they say little things about cheating and you don't respond, they may perceive that to be an acknowledgment of what they want to do and an endorsement of it. You have to be proactive about monitoring the health of your relationship. A person who insinuates that they are going to cheat or says that they are going to cheat is priming you for finding out that they actually are cheating. Don't fall into this trap. If the person you are with wants to talk about how much they want to cheat, make sure you talk about how you are going to leave if they do.

• The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #3
  The person you are dating hits on other people while you are with them, yet you say nothing. This is very disrespectful, however, it's amazing how many people do this. If you are going to allow the person you are with to do this while you stand there and say nothing, you might as well put a sign on your chest that says "Cheating With My Mate Is OK With Me!". Again, not responding to this outrageous behavior acts as an endorsement of it to the person you are with. There are some people who are naturally flirtatious, however, being disrespectful is something different. Make sure you talk to the person you are with about the issues you have with what they are doing.  

• The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #4
  You  find evidence that the person may be cheating, but you consciously decide not to investigate it any further. Listen. Sticking your head in the sand and hoping that things aren't what you suspect they are is ridiculous. Your mate could be exposing you to diseases, crazy people or crazy situations. The person your mate is cheating with could decide to try to eliminate you. It sounds crazy, but people have killed other people for far less! Don't think that because you stick your head in the sand this situation is going to resolve itself. By not investigating things you run the risk of not knowing the truth - good or bad! This isn't going to save your relationship. If you find out something, put in the time and effort to determine if your mate is cheating or not.

• The Dating Tips Magazine - I Am Enabling A Cheater Sign #5
  The person cheats on you more than once and you forgive them. There is one important fact that a lot of people in this situation forget or don't take into account. That fact is that you can forgive someone WITHOUT staying with them! Just because you accept that someone is sorry for what they have done does not mean that you should just forgive them and stay with them. Staying with a person that cheats on you repeatedly is enabling them to continue to do what they are doing to you. If a person that cheats knows that they can just say I'm sorry and have you take them back, why would they EVER stop?

Your mate is ultimately responsible for there actions, however, there is no denying that you can play a role in enabling them to continue cheating on you. If you are not playing an active part in letting your mate know that what they are doing is unacceptable, then you are playing an active role in allowing them to do it. You have to stop if you want something different for your relationship. It doesn't make you a bad person if you forgive them and decide that you don't want to be with them anymore. If you do want to be with them, you have to set boundaries. If the person violates those boundaries, then you need to leave. You can't keep doing the same thing and expect that you are going to get some different result. That is the definition of insanity. Instead, you have to make it clear that there are things that you simply will not allow in your relationships and then stick to those things. Cheating is a hard thing to deal with, but it must be dealt with. Don't let the person you are with make an enabler out of you. Take control of yourself and stop being an enabler today!

Written By Kila Morton

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