Many people are plagued by the problems that cheaters bring into a relationship. The mistrust, the self-doubt, the wondering why and so much more. Sometimes you are placed in situations where you are with a cheater, but you don't even know it. They do whatever they can to cover up their tracks and make you feel like you are the crazy one for even questioning their fidelity and their commitment to your relationship. When you feel suspicious, but can't seem to get that final confirmation, there are a few things that will help you out without you doing a thing as long as you pay attention to the signs. One of those things is the NDJ and it can end up being a tremendous source of information and confirmation for you as long as you pay attention to the signs. You may be wondering what the NDJ is. I won't keep you in suspense. The NDJ is an acronym I created for the time of year that reveals almost all cheaters - November, December & January.

When you are unsure if a person is cheating, but have reason to suspect that they are, you can drive yourself crazy trying to figure out ways to confirm their fidelity. This is one of the reasons why the NDJ is so significant. The premise of using the NDJ is simple. The holiday season is typically spent with the people you really care about and there is a finite amount of time available to spend with people. Cheaters who have been lying to everyone in their lives, face a tremendous quandary during this time and if you are adept at paying attention, you can not only pick up on this quandary, you can also discover if you have reason to be alarmed. Each part of the NDJ plays a special part in determining the facts.

The Significance Of November

November is the start of the holiday season. Thanksgiving is a time when family gets together with one another and enjoys good food and good times. The problem is that cheaters can't be in more than one place at one time. There are a number of items that may indicate that something is not right. Cheaters that have multiple relationships going on typically get very creative with their reasons for needing to be away from you during the holiday. If you just have to know what they are doing, then you have to be just as creative with your excuses for going with them or staying around them or tracking them. You are  going to read some things in this article that the cheater may throw at you and things for you to counter with.

The Significance Of December

December is typically a very hard month for cheaters. In fact, it may be the hardest month of the year for cheaters because they typically have to not only split their time between multiple people, they also have to purchase gifts, hide gifts and get the gifts to their destination without anyone knowing. You have to be extra vigilant to catch cheaters in December, but, fortunately there are a number of additional signs that aren't present in the other months that you can use to pinpoint what is going on. The big holidays are Christmas and the eve of the new year.

The Significance Of January

The new year can bring a change for you if you already have the confirmation that the person you are dating is cheating, however, it can also be one of the best times to see what is going on if you aren't sure. The eve and the first day of the new year are the points where cheaters typically have to split their time. If they aren't with you, they may be doing something that they shouldn't be doing.  

What The Cheaters Will Do During The NDJ And Deciding What Your Objectives Are

Now that you know what obstacles the cheater is facing, you need to understand what the cheaters will do to get around the obstacles they have created for themselves and how you can counter their actions. You have to come to a determination within yourself before you try to counter what they are doing. That determination is about what you intend to do. You need to know this ahead of time because it's what determines how you are going to counter your cheater. Here are your possible things you may want.

1. I want to uncover the cheating, but not leave the cheater. It doesn't matter if the cheater will continue cheating.
2. I want to uncover the cheating, but not leave the cheater and I want the cheater to stop cheating.
3. I want to uncover the cheating and leave the cheater.

Once you discover what you want, you need to focus on what the cheater is going to do and countering it. Here are the things the cheater will say and do.

• The cheater may constantly try to excuse herself or himself to use their cell phone away from everyone else. Here are ways to get the information you need.
  There are several small and cheap ($7) listening devices you can use to hear the conversation. Once the person goes outside, you can listen to the conversation using one of these devices. If you aren't prepared to listen in like this, check the cell phone records. By looking at how many times particular numbers are called you may be able to discover who your partner is talking to. Then, you can use reverse lookups on the Internet to discover who the number belongs to.


• The cheater may constantly try to go to the store to pick up things
  You can insist that you go along or follow the person to the store. If you don't do anything and they come back, ask to see the receipt. It's easy to calculate how long it should take to get to a particular place and from a particular place. If the receipt, when the person left and when they came back don't match up then you have an indication that something isn't write.


• The cheater may schedule a 'business trip' that will keep them away for the holiday.
  Call and try to verify that they are where they say they are. Check their credit card. Look at their receipts when they come back. Review their bank statements. If you don't have access to any of these things, then make sure that you do all you can to verify the person's whereabouts while they are on the trip. Call their employer and say that you have some extreme emergency and need to reach them. Call all of the hotels in the area they say they are in.


• The cheater may tell you they have to work when they really don't.
  Go to the job and verify that they are in fact working. Call the job to confirm that they are working.


• The cheater may tell you they need to visit a family member that doesn't like you so that you won't come along.
  Call the family member yourself and make peace with them if you have had issues. Go see them before the holiday and take them a gift as a peace offering. Ask them directly if it's OK for you to come over. If the cheater insists on not taking you, show up on your own. If you don't know where they live, insist that the cheater take you. If all else fails and they won't take you and you don't know where they live, get their full name and then look up their address using the Internet.


• The cheater may tell you that they need to pick up something from a friend.
  Insist that you go with them. The cheater may say that it will only be a minute. You should stand firm.


• The cheater may try to start an argument with you to stop you from being around them during the holiday.
  Don't allow them to manipulate you this way. If they start an argument, tell them that you understand their point and they are correct about whatever it is. Don't let them trick you into an argument that keeps you away from them. Agree with whatever they say so you can get the proof you need.


• The cheater may try to hide gifts they purchase for other people.
  Check their receipts, credit cards and bank statements. Cheaters are slick. They may say that the gifts are for a relative. In this case, make sure that you ask the relative about the gift right after the holiday. Make sure to look in the trunk of their car, if you can. This is a hiding place that cheaters often use to hide gifts.


• The cheater may tell you that they are going to a party or some event that you cannot go to.
  There may be nothing you can do to circumvent this obstacle. You may want to go to the event to see if the person you are dating leaves the event alone if it is possible.


• The cheater tells you they just want to be alone during the holiday.
  You can drive by their home to try and see if they are alone. You may also take them a plate of food just to make sure they had something to eat which gives you a reason for coming over against their wishes.

Examining the cheater closely during the NDJ will likely yield all of the information you are looking for. There is something to be said for avoiding all of these things and just trusting your gut if you feel that something isn't right, but if you are one of those people that must have explicit confirmation, then these items will likely help you during the NDJ.

Written By Kila Morton

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