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Many of us sabotage our dates without even realizing it. There are certain things that just should not come out of your mouth if you are on a first or second date with someone. Often, after talking to someone on the phone and seeing them in person, we start feeling really comfortable and free. We let our guard down and we start exposing the innermost parts of ourselves. Sometimes this can be great if the other person reciprocates, but more often than not, it turns out to be too much too soon. The problem is that people we are dating very often don't give us feedback that could help us refine our conversational skills. Instead, they disappear into the never ending ocean of forgotten dates without saying a word - never to be heard from again. So instead of waiting for feedback that will never come, look at this article and take a hint.
- Dating Tip 1 - Don't Tell Your Date That You Love Them On The First Date
Nothing is guaranteed to send your date running for the hills quicker than a misplaced I love you on the first date. It is understandable that you may feel a connection with the person you are on a date with. It is completely not understandable to tell them that you are in love with them. Why? The fact that you don't know the person well is one great big reason. Just think about it. Your date is likely thinking that if you fall in love that easy, then it stands to reason that you will fall in love with multiple people just as quickly. To put it bluntly, it makes you look crazy when you say something like this. If you think you love the person, keep it to yourself. No one wants to or should hear it at such an early point in a dating relationship.
- Dating Tip 2 - Don't Tell Your Date How You Have Cheated In All Of Your Past Relationships
This may be true, but this is a tremendous turn off. Why would anyone think you are going to be faithful to them if you have cheated on every person you have been with? This is like saying, "Hi! I am going to cheat on you because it's what I do. Please date me!" What? It's not going to happen. You are probably going to get the date disappearing act performed on you. The alternative is that the person decides that you aren't relationship material and decides to use you for sex. If that's what you want then fine. If it's not, then keep your mouth closed about how much you've cheated. I'm not saying you should lie if asked, but don't volunteer something that is an absolute negative.
- Dating Tip 3 - Don't Curse Excessively While On Your Date
This may be attractive in bad B movies, but, it is not attractive when you are sitting across from your date. If you typically pepper your conversation with various four letter words, that's fine. When you are on a date, it's simply bad form. Being a potty mouth may be who you are, but, being selective about how you carry yourself on a date will go a long way towards getting you to date number two.
- Dating Tip 4 - Don't Start Describing Your Perfect Mate While On Your Date
So many people make this mistake. The only problem is that the person you are dating may not be what you verbally describe. After having you articulate your wants and desires, why would a person who knows that they may not be everything you want stick around? The answer is they won't. Unless you are ready for your date to interpret your list of wants in a mate as a personal attack, keep your list of wants to yourself.
- Dating Tip 5 - Don't Talk Negatively About Your Past Relationships While On Your Date
You may think that you are making general conversation. People listening to you are thinking that you are a negative person. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. If you talk about your ex this way, what would stop you from talking about them in the same way? It is very difficult to trust a person that talks about people this way. Do yourself a favor and keep attacks on your ex out of your conversation.
- Dating Tip 6 - Don't Be Rude To The Wait Staff If You Go To A Restaurant While On Your Date
It constantly amazes me that there are people who are rude to waiters and waitresses. Why oh why would you be rude and nasty to someone who is handling your food? I have ended dates because of this. I don't expect people to be any better than myself. I know what I would do to the food of someone who was rude and nasty to me. I pretty much expect the same of other people. If you like to be rude to waiters and waitresses, then you are asking for the dating dump off. I would give it to you if I was out on a date with you and you were nasty to the wait staff and I know I am not alone.
- Dating Tip 7 - Don't Continually Answer Your Cell Phone While On Your Date
While you are on your date you should turn your phone on vibrate. This shows consideration to the person you are dating. A continually ringing phone is both an annoyance and a red flag. If the cell phone of someone I'm dating continually rings, I am going to question what is going on in this person's life. I am going to want to know who is calling like a lunatic and I am going to be alarmed if you keep responding to the calls. Trust me when I say that I am not unusual.
- Dating Tip 8 - Don't Talk Excessively About Sex On Your Date
If you just want sex then ignore this. If you are looking for someone who might be the one, then keep the sex talk to yourself for now. It is very hard to take someone seriously if they are running on and on about sex on a first date. Like it or not, we tend to categorize and prioritize people when we meet them. If you are the type that talks about sex on a first date, then you get categorized and prioritized accordingly. You aren't going to be the first person your date thinks of when they start thinking about people to seriously get involved with. Leave the sex talk off the table for now.
- Dating Tip 9 - Don't Talk About Any Negative Physical Features Your Date May Have
If you don't like your date's ears, keep it to yourself. There is nothing that your date can do about their ears at the moment, therefore it is a comment that is not worth making. If you feel your date is overweight, then that is another thing you should keep to yourself. Freckles, skin color, hair style, feet and whatever else. If your date can't change things right away then why would you want to say something and hurt their feelings? Now if they ask you something, you should be honest but not brutal. You can answer their questions without being a jerk, but talking about your date's negative physical features is just pointless. If you don't like the way they look, then don't date them again. For the time being, stay quiet, be nice and don't be a jerk with them.
- Dating Tip 10 - Don't Talk About All Of Your Medical Problems While You Are On A Date
Unless your date is a medical doctor, this is personal information that should be kept to yourself until and unless you get to know your date. Even if your date is a medical doctor, a date is not the time to unload about your medical history. Save that for the exam room.
- Dating Tip 11 - Don't Talk Excessively
You want to spend time getting to know the person you are dating. That is going to be impossible if you keep running your mouth. A conversation is a give and take deal. You talk, your date talks, you talk, your date talks. That's how things should work. If you aren't giving your date a chance to talk, it is likely that they will take the opportunity to talk AFTER your date. The only problem is that it will be with other people and about you.
- Dating Tip 12 - Don't Spend The Entire Date Complaining About Your Problems
Doing this is a sure way to never hear from the person you are dating again. There are some people that like to hear other people complain continually. I personally don't know any. Do yourself a favor and keep your complaints to yourself. Call your best friend after the date and complain to them if you can't keep your complaints to yourself, but don't involve your date. Take time to think about the things you do before you go out on a date and you may find your dates to not only be more enjoyable, you may also find that you have more dates. Finding someone great starts with making yourself great. These 12 dating tips will help you along that path.
Written By Kila Morton
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