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 Everyday millions of people all around the world decide to get divorced. The reasons are as varied as the people themselves. However, even after deciding that they may want a divorce, there are some people who are very reluctant to actually follow through with it. When this happens, the reluctance may leave the other spouse feeling like the spouse that is hesitant still wants to work on the marriage. If someone is hesitant about asking for or getting a divorce, it does not mean that they are still in love with their husband or wife. There are a number of reasons that people are hesitant to take the step to actual start divorce proceedings - even when they are living separate lives.
Money It cost money to get divorced. Sometimes the person who wants the divorce may not have the financial means to see the process through. They may also be in a situation where they know that they will be required to pay something if they get divorced. If they know this and they don't have any money, they may stay married instead of actually getting the divorce even though they are living separately.
Taxes & Business If you have a large amount of money tied up with your spouse, then the prospect of dividing all of it and getting all of your business and tax issues taken care off can sometimes make a person stay in the marriage. Even if they are living separate lives, it is often less painful to just stay married than it is to go through the entire process of splitting everything up.
Appearances For high powered couples, the social prospect of being classified as divorced is a stigma that neither may want to have. Instead, they stay together in name only and do whatever they want to do privately. It happens all of the time.
Love The person could be hesitant because they still love their spouse. Even though some people do things to destroy their marriages (like being unfaithful), it doesn't mean that they don't care for and still love their spouse. Screwed up people do screwed up things even if they love the person they are screwing over.
Fear Getting divorced adds a note of finality to everything. It is like putting the final nail in the coffin and covering it over with dirt. This is a hard thing to take for a lot of people, even if they have been doing their own thing for some time. It's like you know that you can't turn back after you do it. This is very scary for a lot of people and some will work hard to avoid it.
There are a number of reasons for a person not following through with a divorce, however, if you are going to be moving on with someone else, rarely is staying married a good idea. First, if something happens to you medically your spouse is the one that will have the final say in your medical care. Would you really want someone that you may have left to be the one who decides if the plug gets pulled? In addition to that, your spouse would also be the one, by default, to receive any financial benefits, if there are any, in the event of your death. Also, if you have more money, the longer you stay married, the more likely you are to have to provide support for your spouse if they ask for it. You might say that you were separated and your spouse may say that you just abandoned them and they were trying to put the marriage back together. You may end up paying even though this wasn't the case just because of the amount of time you were married. Sorting through these issues is important. Just know that if you are married and you aren't ready to say goodbye, you don't have to. If you are ready, then don't be afraid to do what you have to do. Written By Kila Morton
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