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 For some reason, there are those among us that think that every date should end in happily ever after. Well guys and girls, this is the real world. In the real world there are people we like and people we don't. There are also people that like us and people that don't. So what can you do when someone doesn't like you and tells you so? Here are a few tips to help you manage the situation with grace and style.
If you are in a social setting with your date, don't make a scene if they tell you that you aren't their type. There is no need to go that far with the situation. Your ego may be a bit bruised, but, acting like a nut isn't going to help the situation. If you are in a place where it's just the two of you, you need to show restraint. Your first inclination may be to curse and call the person names. This is unnecessary and unwise. There are times in life when you just have to handle things in a mature fashion and move on. It might be hard, but it's a lesson you need to learn now. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words, in this case, are just someones opinion. They are entitled to their opinion just as you are entitled to yours.
Another thing that you shouldn't do is to ask your date what you could do to become their "type". Desperate! Desperate! Desperate! That's what asking this sounds like. You may be desperate, but, you don't have to show it to someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you. Don't force the issue. When you try to change for someone just to be what they want, you to be you aren't being true to yourself. Even if the person tells you and you change to fit what they want, it is very likely that they will find some other reason to end your relationship. People who tell you something like this have typically thought it through. Don't waste your time trying to be something you aren't. You deserve someone who wants to be with you as you are - without the drama of trying to live up to someones image of who you should be.
The truth is that we all have our wants and desires. When it comes to relationships, some of us end up settling because we can't find what we want. Some of us get into relationships with some people that aren't exactly what we want, but,during the course of the relationship, become what we want. Some of us hold on to the ideal of what our perfect mate should be that we end up old and alone. Guess what? All of these scenarios are OK. If the person you are dating tells you that they are holding out for their ideal, don't condemn them. It's OK for them to want certain things in the same way that you want certain things. The fact that your date was honest with you isn't grounds for condemnation. They are simply saying what most people wish they could say. Most people aren't able to be that honest and most people aren't able to handle that type of honesty.
Hearing that you aren't someones type may be a blow to your ego and your self esteem, but, you shouldn't take this personally at all. Now I know that you may be thinking that this really is a personal issue, but it really isn't. The person you were dating had a list of wants and you didn't have the things they wanted. That isn't a personal thing. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with that person. Don't get caught up in feeling down on yourself or thinking that there is something wrong with you. There isn't. You have to accept that there are people in this world who want someone other than you. That's life shattering isn't it? However, it is true. You can't spend your time worrying about what someone else wants. Know that there is someone for everyone. You need to find the someone for you.
Remember that this person has given you the greatest gift someone can give to you. They have given you honesty. You may not have wanted it, but, honesty gives you a level of clarity that makes it easier to let go and move on. Don't make your date regret being honest with you. Accept what you've heard and move on with no hard feelings. There is someone out there for you that will make all of the crap you've had to wade through seem worth it. Until that person comes along, keep a smile on your face and let the small things like this just roll off of your back.
Written By Kila Morton
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